A PIECE OF MY LIFE MISSION COMPLETED

Is the “five second” rule really true? You know, that food won’t become contaminated with bacteria if it only hits the floor for five seconds. Is it also true that you only need to be concerned about communicable diseases when you’re in third world countries? Thankfully, no. I’d passed my Wilderness First Responder written test, but now I was getting seven more answers correct! Well, of course the test corrections were wrong.

Last summer when my friend Natalie asked me if I would be interested in attending a Wilderness First Responder course we were on the beach in Martha’s Vineyard and the air was warm and balmy and it was all just academic.

Three months later I found myself in Jackson Hole, Wyoming layered up in piles of wool and down, suffering from altitude insomnia while practicing rescues in zero- to- minus 18º weather. Then it became real.

Over the course of ten days there were many incredibly fun, frigid, stressful, anxious, exhausting, fascinating, educational, funny, and zany moments—in the classroom and out. Like fact that our class was split into three teams: Ho Ho’s, Zingers, and Ding Dongs. The irony . . . . Like the night we pulled one of our fellow students out of a frozen creek while practicing a mock helicopter crash rescue. And the night we hiked an hour in the snow to the top of a peak to practice a rescue, and I said, “There is not a place in the world I would rather be right now.” I meant it.

Later that night I followed through with my “secret” instructions to be the “surprise” patient and had a pretend grand mal seizure in the snow (which I was told was an Academy Award winning performance). With my team hovering over me it seemed real to me—I guess that’s what method acting is like. They went through the steps of the APVU scale, which is a system first responders measure and record a patient’s level of consciousness. After 45 minutes I was A&O x 4. (Alert and Oriented to who I was, where I was, what time it was, and what happened.) It was fascinating to me to listen to them go through the process.

And the night before our practical exam when I suggested we use a stuffed snowman I found in the cabin closet to practice on. (We abandoned that idea after peeing in our pants laughing.)

The medical material, which could have been dry and boring was brought to life by two animated, highly experienced, hysterically funny instructors, Shari Leach and Ryland Gardener who were superb at both distilling the information and interjecting humor.

Even though the course was unrelenting, there was never a dull moment. There were homemade sticky buns, a lot of splinting, bandaging, taking blood pressures, fake blood and bruises, learning how to “log roll” a patient, and studying. (You haven’t lived until you’ve had someone much bigger and stronger practice CPR on you, accidentally using real chest compressions.)

It was all good. I loved learning what I learned and was inspired to continue studying to learn even more.

Some of the things the course covered were the Patient Assessment System, CPR, vital signs, shock, chest, lung, head, musculoskeletal injuries, Focused Spine Assessment, dislocations, burns, hypothermia, heat and attitude sicknesses, cardiac, asthma, neurological, poisoning, diabetes, and much more all in the context of wilderness medicine.

There were fascinating people taking the course with me, like my friend Natalie Orfalea, whose Orfalea Family Foundation supports a number of initiatives to help children and underprivileged families. Natalie’s Montana ranch is one place where her kids go for summer experiences and Natalie wanted to have wilderness first responder training for that and other of her many philanthropic endeavors. Among the other students was a former neonatal nurse, several students who had Ph.D.’s, including a patent attorney, the manager of a dude ranch, an avalanche instructor, a four-month pregnant anthropology doctoral student, high school and college students, the owner of an organic restaurant, a former international fish distributor (who attended the course on crutches after a rock climbing accident), ski bums, several people who are instructors and wilderness guides for adults and children, and a mountain girl who butchers and eats road-kill, then skins and tans the hides. Everyone had different reasons and goals for taking the course.
Exam day was yesterday and we were all elated to have passed the practical and written exam.  And Natalie and I were ecstatic to go out and celebrate.

I’m in Los Angeles now to resume preparation for the launch of Karma. I hope that someday I can put what I’ve learned in the first responder course to good use. Whatever comes of my training it was one piece of my life mission completed . . . a zillion other pieces to go.

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